Still got over a week till I can test to see if I am pregnant, omg the days seem to feel like months,
I keep finding myself looking at fertility drugs an if I can buy them online if the doctor won't let me have any. How bad is that even tho I know it could be so dangerous and you don't know what your buying yet I feel so strongly about having a child it's like all logic goes out the window and you don't care how you get there.
We just got back from few days away which took my mind off things it was really nice in Falmouth now we are off to Brighton just couple of days before pride as they are all booked up for pride and it cost over twice as much which is just silly.
Brighton was great really felt normal, would love to live there so much to see and do.
Tuesday 30 July 2013
Monday 29 July 2013
Crap
3rd attempt at baby! Getting a bit stressed about it all now. What happens if it does not work, what if it never works. I want to be a mother but may never get the chance. NHS won't help us which is wrong, starting to wonder if ill be able to afford to fight them for my right for help. Over a week to go till we know but I'm not feeling like its worked again. Ahhhhh.
Really not feeling positive about this at all.
:,(
Thursday 18 July 2013
Troubles
OMG couldn't get on for few days very very annoying. taken me about two hours now just to get things up and running. dam sites seems I had create two accounts and gotten myself all a little messed up.
Anyway on to the present time again. so no baby this time round. but high hopes for round 3 which will being soon. have spent £15.00 on some of this pre seed stuff ment to help you get preggers faster so fingers crossed for this time. you never know right. 3rd time lucky,
This heat is getting to me tho really could do with loseing a few more pounds but in this heat who wants to come home from work and then do loads of exercise, not me. no air con in work either so its like silly HOT!
Anyway soon be winter and cold. lol.
xx
Anyway on to the present time again. so no baby this time round. but high hopes for round 3 which will being soon. have spent £15.00 on some of this pre seed stuff ment to help you get preggers faster so fingers crossed for this time. you never know right. 3rd time lucky,
This heat is getting to me tho really could do with loseing a few more pounds but in this heat who wants to come home from work and then do loads of exercise, not me. no air con in work either so its like silly HOT!
Anyway soon be winter and cold. lol.
xx
Thursday 11 July 2013
My First Big Gay Night Out
This is the following year after meeting Florance, start of the 2nd year of college
Im pretty sure I was underage Naughty me, (with a fake ID)
It was a lush evening, beautiful and snowinig. I got on the bus to head to a little town called Bridgwater, I would meet my friends there and we would head to Taunton in the taxi we had already booked. I was excited I had my hair freshly cut that day. (yes I had the Alex parks do) I had a lush shirt on and Amazing jeans and a Fab yellow belt.
Anyway. a taxi ride later we ended up in Taunton. the club was down a dark ally by a church real underground looking. the night its self was called OUT, it was dark inside with condoms and safe sex leaflets everywhere. nice looking bar, 4 tables on the dance floor and the word OUT in kool flashy lights.
There were also something called Shag Tags. which ment you were given a number as you went in the club then there was a big notice board near the dance floor. if you liked the looks of some one you could write them a message. I never got one that night but I did a few nights after wen the night out had moved to a new club.
The tables were great on the dance floor and even to this day its the only club I have ever been in where I was allowed to dance on the table. woop woop.
There was an amazing atmosphear there tho. drag kings and queens. some looked soooo good you really couldn't tell if they were male or female. but seeing so many different types of people was great. you just don't see it in everyday life very often coz people think they need to hide.
YOU DONT NEED TO HIDE! BE FREE
The night was great just danced and had fun.
Waiting for the taxi and then when we got home I was ment to stay at my sisters but she had friends over and they had all taken drugs so that was a no go. and I couldn't stay with anyone else. I called Florance and thankfuly she did answer the phone.
So off I went to her house, no idea where it was she had to give me instructions keeping in mind it was like 2 am lol. oops.
Well spent the night there and no nothing happened, she had her girl friend on the phone the whole bloody night crying and being a pain in the ass coz she was drunk. lol. Bit werid in the morning coz her family didn't know I was there, felt like I was sneaking around.
Well got out of there and went to college in the same clothes hahahahaha oops still a little drunk.
Got to college late they were in class so though sod it ill wait till next lesson, I was already the talk of the beauty department, Yes after media i did beauty. lol.
So I headed to the lockers and just chilled out. then went to class. lets just say I was louder than normal and we got a big talk on being drunk in class. hahahahaha so funny.
Good times
Im pretty sure I was underage Naughty me, (with a fake ID)
It was a lush evening, beautiful and snowinig. I got on the bus to head to a little town called Bridgwater, I would meet my friends there and we would head to Taunton in the taxi we had already booked. I was excited I had my hair freshly cut that day. (yes I had the Alex parks do) I had a lush shirt on and Amazing jeans and a Fab yellow belt.
Anyway. a taxi ride later we ended up in Taunton. the club was down a dark ally by a church real underground looking. the night its self was called OUT, it was dark inside with condoms and safe sex leaflets everywhere. nice looking bar, 4 tables on the dance floor and the word OUT in kool flashy lights.
There were also something called Shag Tags. which ment you were given a number as you went in the club then there was a big notice board near the dance floor. if you liked the looks of some one you could write them a message. I never got one that night but I did a few nights after wen the night out had moved to a new club.
The tables were great on the dance floor and even to this day its the only club I have ever been in where I was allowed to dance on the table. woop woop.
There was an amazing atmosphear there tho. drag kings and queens. some looked soooo good you really couldn't tell if they were male or female. but seeing so many different types of people was great. you just don't see it in everyday life very often coz people think they need to hide.
YOU DONT NEED TO HIDE! BE FREE
The night was great just danced and had fun.
Waiting for the taxi and then when we got home I was ment to stay at my sisters but she had friends over and they had all taken drugs so that was a no go. and I couldn't stay with anyone else. I called Florance and thankfuly she did answer the phone.
So off I went to her house, no idea where it was she had to give me instructions keeping in mind it was like 2 am lol. oops.
Well spent the night there and no nothing happened, she had her girl friend on the phone the whole bloody night crying and being a pain in the ass coz she was drunk. lol. Bit werid in the morning coz her family didn't know I was there, felt like I was sneaking around.
Well got out of there and went to college in the same clothes hahahahaha oops still a little drunk.
Got to college late they were in class so though sod it ill wait till next lesson, I was already the talk of the beauty department, Yes after media i did beauty. lol.
So I headed to the lockers and just chilled out. then went to class. lets just say I was louder than normal and we got a big talk on being drunk in class. hahahahaha so funny.
Good times
Meeting my lynn
I met Lynn my partner 9 years ago almost. I worked in one shop and she worked in the one across the road. we used to send messages to each other using other staff members, after a police man gave me her number hahahaha weird I know.
We moved in together a few years after meeting
and we got married earlier this year. well had a civil partnership as it was not legal to get married then. It was a nice service just a few people then a big party after. did everything on a budget and maybe spent 2000 so not to bad, had lots of weird and wonderful things tho.
We will get married again in the future I would love to have a hand fasting ceremony.
Bk to the present day for a min. Trying to get pregnant at the moment. tried before and didn't work. was to days late this time and was really hoping this would be it. but nope, gutted. Only someone who is trying or has tried knows how I feel right now. I sit here wondering if this will ever happen for me. or if I am destined to never be a parent.
We moved in together a few years after meeting
and we got married earlier this year. well had a civil partnership as it was not legal to get married then. It was a nice service just a few people then a big party after. did everything on a budget and maybe spent 2000 so not to bad, had lots of weird and wonderful things tho.
We will get married again in the future I would love to have a hand fasting ceremony.
Bk to the present day for a min. Trying to get pregnant at the moment. tried before and didn't work. was to days late this time and was really hoping this would be it. but nope, gutted. Only someone who is trying or has tried knows how I feel right now. I sit here wondering if this will ever happen for me. or if I am destined to never be a parent.
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